A Note to Myself

hope whishper

I will not cry if this is not work out

I will stand up and walk again a few more steps

I prepare myself for this

For the better or for worse I will not cry

I promised myself and him that I will not cry so shall I won’t

Ok, that is a note for me in case the IUI failed. Ya, ya, gw tau kalo gw gak seharusnya mikirin terus hasil IUI nya. However I just couldn’t help myself not to.. dan buat gw, the waiting part is one of the hardest part. Somehow I just keep thinking about the “what ifs”. If the result positive of course I will be the happiest woman alive. But if it’s not, then I got no choice other than keep moving on. So, in this post I will try to prepare myself for the worst case scenario and how I keep on moving forward immediately instead of weeping and devastating for weeks. So my backup plans if the first Plan (IUI) is not working are:

  1. I will jump straight to IVF. Tapi bukan berarti next month ya.. Of course I need more time to set a series of preparation, but the latest I will start the IVF program on December
  2. In order to prepare my mind body and soul for IVF, I will try to take acupuncture program. There are several option to do this acupuncture:

i.            Klinik Vikrist – Rasuna Said. (+) deket banget dari rumah, sabtu-minggu buka (-) review nya belum banyak

ii.            BIC  Menteng (+) Semua program gw di BIC jadi ga pake ribet (-) ngantrinya pasti gila2an

iii.            Dr. Sri di Wellness – Kemang (+) reviewnya banyak yang bagus (-) Tempatnya jauh banget dari rumah dan kantor, pasti susah ikut program rutin disini

iv.            Dr. Rudy Andreas – Cipinang (+) Gak terlalu jauh dari rumah, Sabtu buka (-) Reviewnya belum banyak

  1. I will take a pre natal vitamin, my choice down to: Blackmores conceive well gold. I heard they are a great vitamin if you are trying to conceive
  2. I heard from a friend of mine, she got pregnant when she was routinely drinks a pinch of cinnamon + warm water + honey. Maybe I’ll give it a shot. At this point it won’t do more damage wouldn’t it?
  3. Lots and lots of prayers

Hmm.. Kayaknya sih yang muncul di otak saat ini hanya itu (apa emang Cuma itu yang bisa dilakuin? entah). Kalau ada ide lain feel free to tell me okay? Even though I prepare myself for the worst but still, deep down inside I’m still hoping for the best to come. So please, please, please… baby dust in need……

So now, I can only pray n pray n keep on praying until 4th of October.. I hope time flies and before I knew it, it’s already the 4th of October and I still haven’t got my period…. Amen to that!!

Anxious,

Me

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